Part 1

“If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.”‭‭John‬ ‭15:19‬ ‭KJV‬‬

 Although it may be hard to comprehend, loving people is far different than being infactuated with them. It’s not your love for them, but it’s your need and your longing to be with them and like them. 

It’s tough to want to change for other people and try to fit in, but three is  a crowd, and two is one to many…which leaves me, myself, and I. Could it be that I am in the midst of being allured into the wilderness like Israel; or could it be that I’m slowly headed towards Patmos like John the Baptist. 

Sometimes I think to myself and wonder why I am the way I am, why do I care so much, and why do I show it so much! I’m crying out to the Lord because he’s the only one who can pull me through. I’m so misunderstood around the people I love the most, and it’s just all a game to them. 

….until then

Advertisements

30 Shattered Promised

  1. I promised myself I wouldn’t give in…
  2. I promised I would never tell…
  3. I promised to believe you…
  4. I promised to think you loved me…
  5. I promised to act normal…
  6. I promised myself I wasn’t abused
  7. I promised myself the abuse wasn’t real…
  8. I promised myself I would never allow anyone to hurt me again…
  9. I promised to treat others with the kindness and respect that I expect…
  10. I promised to not over think my abuse…
  11. I promise to love like I’ve never been hurt…
  12. I promised to starve myself spiritually and physically to be in a class that wasn’t meant for me…
  13. I promised myself that I caused the hurt and pain that’s been brought…
  14. I promised I would never starve myself again to fit in…
  15. I promised I would never hurt myself again because of bad decisions…
  16. I promised I wouldn’t become an emotional eater again…
  17. I promised I would keep the peace…
  18. I promised I would always be there for others…
  19. I promised myself I wouldn’t increase the dosage, but the pain was to much to bare…
  20. I promised myself I wouldn’t lie again…
  21. I promised not to show my emotions…
  22. I promised to keep my pain bottled up…
  23. I promised to smile, and act like everything was okay…
  24. I promised to give my last…
  25. I promise I would keep his commandments…
  26. I promised I would stay saved…
  27. But one day my promised didn’t last…
  28. I promised I would never change…
  29. I promised I would stay the same…
  30. After mental neglect, physical abuse, rape, hurt and misuse…
  31. I promised to give my entire life to Jesus Christ…
  32. I feel like John, when he was in Patmos…or like Israel in the wilderness…
  33. But Gods promised never fail…
  34. Jesus brought me out, and turned my life around…
  35. Once I was lost I was deep in despair…
  36. Satan had me bound in my mind…
  37. But God said I would never leave you nor forsake you…
  38. Gods promises override mans…
  39. He turned my life around, now I’m on my way!!
  40. I made a vow to Jesus…its more than a promise…I gave him my heart…and now I’m on my way!

WordPress.com.

Up ↑